How I Unwound after My Lecture on the Awesomeness of God, The Beneficent, The Merciful …

… and the biggest waste of time and my stoopidest blog post ever.

I looked up the 1st Google result for every letter of the alphabet.

I was going to include the numbers, 0-9, but they’re all Wikipedia entries save for one about 6/49 and another … which led me to exclude all the numbers on principle for it refers to the musical remake of the greatest movie ever made and about which no one must ever speak to me again.  Let it be an anathema!

A – Welcome to ‘A’…anc_AtlanticLink · Set Barrie as your default station. Set London as your default station · Set Ottawa as your default station · Set Victoria as your …

Gateway to the former Citytv now CTVGlobemedia properties, the A channels, that CTV would close up if they could and for which they want cable and satellite providers to kick back a fee so that these channels standing alone appear profitable.  Don’t make me angry, broadcast teevee, you won’t like me when I’m angry.

B – /b/ – Randomb/ is the home of Anonymous, it is where people go to discuss random topics on 4chan.

Gateway to exgf pay porn site.  Anybuddy surprised that a mere letter search turns up some porn?

C – C (programming language) – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia C is a general-purpose computer programming language developed in 1972 by Dennis Ritchie at the Bell Telephone Laboratories for use with the Unix operating …

The Internet, by the pocket-protector class, for the pocket-protector class …

D – Intro – D Programming Language – Digital Mars Compiled, garbage collected, simpler C/C++ replacement by Walter Bright (wrote first DOS C++ compiler). Maximum similarity to C/C++, except where backward …

… several communities of the pocket-protector class, in fact.

E – E! Online – Entertainment News, Celebrity Gossip, Celebrity News Did you know you can grab smokin’ hot E! Online news, review and gossip through our RSS …. That’s what he did last night when E! News asked him about his …

F – F – Ford Motor Company (NYSE)

The market has spoken … moving on.

G –  Gmail: Email from Google7+ GB of storage, less spam, and mobile access. Gmail is email that’s intuitive, efficient, and useful. And maybe even fun.

Could any form of Google search not produce something self-referential?

H – Hydrogen – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Hydrogen gas (now known to be H2) was first artificially produced in the early … H2 reacts with every oxidizing element. Hydrogen can react spontaneously …

… with a buncha stuff resulting in kerfuckinbooooom!

I –  Apple – Download music and more with iTunes. Play it all on iPod. Audio player with multiple playlist functions, native burn support, visual effects, and file conversion.

iMFG!  After all the entrail-reading to determine just what today’s tablet unveiling would bring, Apple would have to be represented, no?

J – J – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia J is the 10th letter in the basic modern Latin alphabet used today; it was the last of the 26 letters to be added. Its name in English (pronounced /ˈdʒeɪ/) …

It’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma that every one of these entries isn’t such a Wikipedia entry.

K – K – Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaK (and k) is the eleventh letter of the basic modern Latin alphabet. Its name in English (pronounced /ˈkeɪ/) is spelled kay. …

It’s a riddle wrapped in bacon …

L – L – Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaL is the twelfth letter of the basic modern Latin alphabet. Its name in English (pronounced /ˈɛl/) is spelled el or occasionally ell. …

… behind a shower curtain.

M – M (1931) Directed by Fritz Lang. With Peter Lorre, Ellen Widmann, Inge Landgut. When the police in a German city are unable to catch a child-murderer, …

Ok, this is better.  BTW, I heart IMDB.

N – N – Free Action Game from AddictingGames!N, a Free Action Game from AddictingGames: Golden cubes await capture as you guide your ninja-like icon through treacherous territory. Watch out for mines, …

O – Canadian Heritage – National Anthem: O Canada11 Dec 2009 … “O Canada” was proclaimed Canada’s national anthem on July 1, 1980, 100 years after it was first sung on June 24, 1880. …

Aw, now that’s gotta warm yer heart down to the cockles, or maybe even the sub-cockle area.

BTW, this Google search was a Google Canada search.  Always was a fan of Cancon.

P –  P-Mate – Female Freedom – The Freedom To Pee Standing UpP-Mate was invented by a creative Dutch woman. They allow girls and women of all ages the ability to neatly pee standing up.

And this, my friends, is why the interwebz truly is the greatest, best thing God ever gave man.

Q –  Q – Qwest Communications International Inc. (NYSE)

Still, pure ca-pittle-ism is pretty sparsely represented here.

R – The R Project for Statistical ComputingR, also called GNU S, is a strongly functional language and environment to statistically explore data sets, make many graphical displays of data from custom …

“R is a language and environment for statistical computing and graphics. It is a GNU project which is similar to the S language.”

Hmmmm, I wonder if the next entry will be ….

S – S – Wikipedia, the free encyclopediaS is the nineteenth letter in the basic modern Latin alphabet. Its name in English (pronounced /ˈɛs/) is spelled ess, or usually es- when part of a compound …

Well it didn’t turn out to be a site about the S language.   I don’t know that if it had, I’d be more disappointed than finding just another Wikipedia article 😦

T – T – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia T is the twentieth letter in the basic modern Latin alphabet. Its name in English (pronounced /ˈtiː/) is spelled tee. It is the most commonly used consonant …

Ok, now this complete waste of time and effort is just depressing me.

U – Video results for u Britney Spears – I’m A Slave 4 U

Didn’t see other media suggestions appearing in this list.  If I had, I’da cynically suggested itida been Britney sings “I’m a Slave for U” in sex tape

V – V – ValuCap Investments Inc. (CVE)

Not “for Vendetta?”  Not “We are of Peace. Always?”

W – W. (2008/I) A chronicle on the life and presidency of George W. Bush. Visit IMDb for Photos, Showtimes, Cast, Crew, Reviews, Plot Summary, Comments, Discussions, …

Hey, did anybuddy see it?  Was it funny?  I haven’t seen it for Jodey’s knows how much of a BFI I think Oliver Stone is.

X – X – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia X is the twenty-fourth letter in the basic modern Latin alphabet. Its name in English (pronounced /ˈɛks/) is spelled ex, plural exes (/ˈɛksɨz/). …

Sad, I’d hoped that this would give me proper excuse to declare my endless love for Exene Cervenka.  Hmmm, you know, I only found out recently that Viggo Mortensen is the ex, hahaha, of Exene of the band X.

Y – Yahoo! Canada Canada Only. Search: Open Search Assist. · Y! Quebec · My Yahoo! Make Y! your homepage · Sign in · New here? Sign up · What are you doing? …

It just refuses to die.

Z – Z – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Z is the twenty-sixth and final letter of the basic modern Latin alphabet. Contents. 1 Name and pronunciation; 2 History. 2.1 Blackletter Z …

Zed’s dead, baby.

And so what have we learned?

Well, a statistician could argue that approximately:

19% of the internet is media

15% of the internet is computing

4% of the internet is games

4% of the internet is Google

4% of the internet is anti-Google

4% of the internet is porn

4% of the Canadian corner of the interent is … well … Canadian

4% of the interent is peepee-rights.

12% of the internet is commercial

and finally …

27% of the internet is Wiki-effin-pedia.


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