The Real Problem

I somewhat cavalierly asserted today that the current frenzy over Tiger’s Wood, uh, Tiger Woods is racist.

Thankfully, Rush Limbaugh and even effin Eugene Robinson have come to my defense (via Gawker).

Limbaugh, as always, telling it like it is:

I got two more stories in the stack today about how black unemployment is through the roof. Black unemployment is terrible. The black frame of mind is terrible, they’re depressed, they’re down — Obama’s not doing anything for ’em. How is that hoax and change workin’ for ya? They’re all livid. I mean, they thought there were gonna be an exact 180-degree economic reversal and it’s done nothing but get bad for everybody, but they’re especially upset about it because they look at him as one of them, and now they feel abandoned. And I’m sure Tiger Woods’ choice of females not helping ’em out with their attitudes there either.

(See also MMA.)

And Gene *cough* Jim Crow *cough* sez:

Here’s my real question, though: What’s with the whole Barbie thing?

No offense to anyone who actually looks like Barbie, but it really is striking how much the women who’ve been linked to Woods resemble one another. I’m talking about the long hair, the specific body type, even the facial features. Mattel could sue for trademark infringement.

This may be the most interesting aspect of the whole Tiger Woods story — and one of the most disappointing. He seems to have been bent on proving to himself that he could have any woman he wanted. But from the evidence, his aim wasn’t variety but some kind of validation.

I’m making a big assumption here that the attraction for Woods was mostly physical, but there’s no evidence thus far that he had a lot of time for deep conversation. If adultery is really about the power and satisfaction of conquest, Woods’s self-esteem was apparently only boosted by bedding the kind of woman he thought other men lusted after — the “Playmate of the Month” type that Hugh Hefner turned into the American gold standard.

But the world is full of beautiful women of all colors, shapes and sizes — some with short hair or almond eyes, some with broad noses, some with yellow or brown skin. Woods appears to have bought into an “official” standard of beauty that is so conventional as to be almost oppressive.

His taste in mistresses leaves the impression of a man who is, deep down, both insecure and image-conscious — a control freak even when he’s committing “transgressions.”

I don’t know where the assertions that TW’s ‘squeaky clean’ image is in tatters and the like come from; the image itself looks like a projection to me.  For, I don’t recall much press on him that really said anything about him.  It all just seemed like little more than transcendental ability, Nike, razors, and endorsements of every other sort, as well as restraint in the face of the real racism within the world of professional golf – remember  Fuzzy Zoeller on CNN “suggesting Woods not have fried chicken on the Champions Dinner menu the next year. ‘Or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve’?” 

(Though, the Sun story suggests that excellent PR people have, til now, managed to teflon coat our man in Augusta against scandal).

So, yeah, I wish Tiger was a little more Jack Johnson, a little more Ali.  Cuz the real problem, still, is the fear of the white girl falling in love with the black man.  (nb. I assume that Ice-T was being somewhat euphemistic.)

Ok, everybuddy else, stop reading now.

Tiger, buddy, chin up.  Even if you lose the wife – and a boatload of Benjamins – and the girl in every 19th hole, you know that dames … dames is like PGA victories, if you lose the Master’s, you can take the Verizon Heritage the next week.


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